A tiny drawing

a tiny drawing

I got my first tattoo earlier this year. It’s something I always wanted to do, had a design picked out and almost had it done a number of times over the years. Yet each time something stopped me.

Then I became a mum. And I put on some weight. Suddenly where I wanted it to go, I knew I wouldn’t be happy with it. I wanted to wait until it was perfect. I wanted to drop all the baby weight. So it didn’t happen. Funnily enough, I still haven’t dropped it all and Poss is now closer to 9 than 8. Oh well.

And then we enrolled our daughter in a private school. Did private school mum’s have tattoos? I don’t know, but I didn’t want to risk it. So the tattoo waited. I sometimes giggle at the things that worried me then…

And then I decided I didn’t want the design anymore, it didn’t fit. It wasn’t right. A surge of relief that I never went through with it before, yet sadness that my longed for tattoo was further away.

Then one day I saw a design that stuck with me. I thought about it, I drew it, I wanted it. It meant more that the other design, it made perfect sense. So when my sister came home, we went to the same place she had hers done, and I got my tattoo.

It’s been there a few months now. It’s not perfect, I accidentally scratched part of the scab off the day after it was done, and bits of it are faded and not quite perfect. The line dips in and out, it’s not quite straight. It’s wavy in places where the lines have bled, the black ink spreading across into parts of the delicate design not meant for them.

It’s not quite where I wanted it to be – my fault at the impatience of wanting it done, I rushed the placement and assured the tattoo artist it was fine. It’s not fine. It’s too obvious, not hidden, sticking out a bit, even when I rest my wrist on the table, instead of being secretly tucked away on the inside. But it’s too late now.

At first this upset me. I wanted it fixed, it wasn’t perfect. I wanted it to be perfect.

I wanted it to look exactly like I drew on the paper, I didn’t understand the way my skin would take the ink and make it my own. The way it would be shaped into something unique. The line may be wavy, but the shape is clear and strong. It’s sentiment true. The location is better than the other one would have been; I see it every time I look down.

It’s funny that such a small thing, a tiny drawing, can mean so much. That it can make me smile at it’s perfect imperfection every time.

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Comments

  1. I love that you followed through. Beauty in imperfection is perfect xx
    leah recently posted..moments from my week: adventures at southwallMy Profile

  2. p.s I love the tatooist’s yee haa tatt!
    leah recently posted..moments from my week: adventures at southwallMy Profile

  3. OK, now I want to see it please! x
    Caro Webster recently posted..No Fuss SalsaMy Profile

  4. i have 3. they all mean a lot to me, about different times in my life, marking endings and beginnings of life events or changes…
    none of them is perfect, graphically, but I am fully happy with how they look, where they are and know that their meaning will always be the same for me.
    I think in a way it’s good that you waited so long – see, you dropped the initial design..
    so many people get tattoo nowadays, or plenty, because they like a motive, or it’s cute, or gruesome (boys..) but soo many regret it and the removal is painful and expensive. (seen a thing about babyboomers removing theirs now.. as age comes, our tastes change.. and our bodies..)
    I would love to see yours, but I don’t show mine online either (i would send you a message tho =) )
    WHAT is it? and what does it mean to you ??
    nikki recently posted..Autism : “language matters”–yes indeed.My Profile

  5. Sharron Redmond says:

    I have 2 and my first was something that was important to me and can be read many different ways .Its a long stemmed rose that has “Never Fading and Eternal” written underneath. These are lyrics from the song Rose Tattoo by my favourite singer and muscian Chris Wilson (who is also a friend) , the actual lyrics are ” Hold me close my darlin , my love is like a rose tattoo, never fading and eternal , I’m saving all my love for you …cos I love you ” . Very close to my heart but unfortunately its on my back so I cant see it often.So my 2nd is a green tree frog ( I am a frog adorer) bright green on my upper left arm so I can see him but other people dont often :).

  6. funny how that tattoo is a little reflection of the girl who inspired it…
    i am in love with my tattoo as well – on my foot, telling me to say thank you with every step i take. i can see it all the time. i love it most when i take my shoes off, I’m reminded to be thankful that i own a pair of shoes at all. 🙂

  7. I am still jealous that you went through with it and I don’t have the courage (yet). Maybe like you I’m just waiting for the perfect design 🙂
    Caroline recently posted..One Year of BloggingMy Profile

  8. I think it’s perfect. x
    jody recently posted..she writesMy Profile

  9. I adore your little piece of ink… I regret mine most days – stupid university days.
    Michelle @ Raising Will recently posted..Raising Will’s Cup A Day Photo Challenge RETURNS!My Profile

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