I’m not great at making decisions. Call it procrastination, call it over-thinking, whatever, I struggle to pin down just one thing.
I’m the person at the table who still doesn’t know what they want when the waiter comes over, and then panics and orders something ridiculous, only to regret it for the rest of the night. The term food envy was made for me.
And it doesn’t seem to matter the size of the decision. I can stand staring at cartons of milk just as long as I can spend choosing accommodation for a holiday. The thought of having to pick a school for Poss sends me into a panic. I just can’t deal.
Yet recently I’ve been looking at almost all the above. Not the milk though, because I just buy the same one each week now to reduce the time waste.
The holiday is coming up. Fast. And we had booked accommodation ages ago, which was a process that involved many hours researching, and then more looking and then some more researching. A place was finally chosen. And then last week, cancelled.
The school is something we’ve been sitting with for a while. Do we, or don’t we? Is Poss in the right place for her as we look ahead for high school? Back and forth, to and fro. The lists of pros and cons was actually getting a bit silly. We finally settled on a place, only to find out that the promised spot was no longer an option.
Twice in a week. Back to the drawing board. My little decision making heart was crying no fair. We’ve already made these choices, it whined. I can’t do it again.
But of course we did. And in a manner most unlike me, I approached it with the mentality that maybe, just maybe, these two things happened for a reason. Maybe, and I don’t want to sound like a wanker, but maybe they just weren’t the right things. Maybe the right things were somewhere else.
And in the case of the school, maybe it was time to look at something else entirely, because after her whole primary school education being spent in two quite similar (from the outside anyway) schools, and neither being a perfect fit – maybe it was time to explore outside my little pre-concieved box.
So we started there and undertook a crash course of the options; we investigated, visited, phoned and asked a bajillion questions. We drilled them on the details of their special needs programs, we found out what subjects they offered, we met the teaching staff. Poss made a list of questions of her own, and threw them out at every administrator.
Like the waiter standing at the table with his pen in hand, time was ticking, and this time instead of ordering something ridiculous, I think the pressure has actually been a good thing. She’s got the spot at the school we never would have considered before. We’ve landed somewhere different, we’re trying something new.
Likewise, the accommodation is now sorted after a whirlwind of decisions. We just kind of jumped. It’s not where we originally thought it was going to be, but it’s actually bigger and probably, better. We’ve landed somewhere different, we’re trying something new.
And I think we’re going to like it.