Sometimes I look at Poss and I wonder what she is thinking, where she is, what is lighting up her eyes as she stares out into empty space.
She so often seems so closed off, so far away. We ask her where she is and she can’t tell us. We ask her why she did a litany of things, but she doesn’t seem to even understand the premise of the question let alone be able to formulate a response.
Every now and then we get a glimpse, a split second, of what it might be like to see the world through her eyes. Maybe it’s answering a question with a surprising degree of clarity, other times it’s a random, unexpected comment.
We treasure these moments and I always push for more; more insight, more words, more something. But like trying to catch a goldfish, as soon as you rush at it, it swims away through your fingers as quickly as it arrived.
A friend sent me an email today telling me about a dream she had. To quote her exactly:
She was chasing butterflies and the colours were amazing. She was REALLY happy. As she ran past me, she then stopped when she saw you, took your hand and you joined her. It was lovely.
It’s silly that someone else’s dream would make me tear up, but the thought that she was happy, that she included me in that moment of happiness, was like a dream. Funnily enough.