The express train

The express train

It’s Friday again and another week has slipped by. Is it just me, or are the days starting to speed up again, as we hurtle towards the end of the year?

Yesterday was ILP time again. Seems like only yesterday we were discussing her entry into year three, yet there we were reviewing term one and looking forward to term two. A heartbeat. Yet so much has happened in that time, and it shows in the goals we were setting.

Some things have moved forward. She is being more challenged academically than ever before, and so far, seems to be thriving in the pressure that seems to bring. Her teacher is tapping into her special interests and leveraging them to build skills she struggles in, giving her a reason to engage and stay engaged.

Subjects and activities that she has had to be pushed in previously, she has now reached a level of mastery where she actually enjoys it, so her skills build one on top of the other as she strives ahead, finding satisfaction in her success.

Other things have regressed. Or maybe she is just standing still while the others pass her. A bit like when you are on a train and you don’t know if it’s the platform moving, or if it’s you.

They told us, reinforcing what others wrote in the comments of this post, that year three is a milestone year for lots of children, for lots of reasons. Maturity jumps a level and their worlds are bigger, less controllable, more complex.

Their interactions with each other also become more complex, more grown up; they now grasp the rules and are developing the ability to use and recognise tactics and strategies, whether it’s in games or in the playground.

Before, whatever Poss gave out, would have come back in the same way. “I don’t want to play with you” would have been returned with a “I don’t want to play with you either” and both girls would move on, before drifting back together again at some point later in the day.

Now, while she will still say that, the response might be more “fine then”. Dripping in sarcasm and heavy with meaning, my literal girl takes it as all is fine, and can’t understand why an hour later that child is still not playing with her and why she ignores her in the classroom later that afternoon.

It’s all normal. It’s all within the developmental process. The girls aren’t doing anything wrong, they are spot on where they need to be to prepare themselves for the big world out there, where tactics and strategies are part of every day life. Helping us identify the quickest way for us to get ahead, to negotiate our workplaces and relationships.

But for Poss, it’s streets ahead of where she is and to be fair, probably years ahead of her understanding. While we can teach some things, other things we just have to wait for maturity to catch up, in the hope that they will be come easier and less forced for her as she gets older and learns more about how the world around her works.

Meanwhile, those girls will just keep going ahead. Like an express train, hurtling towards that next milestone.

Leaving behind the train that is still stranded at the station, staring at the platform and wondering whether they are actually moving at all.


*image source*

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  1. Hang in there lovely. You are doing such a wonderful, wonderful job with Poss. I honestly believe there is a reason she chose you as a Mumma – your ability to persevere and weather the storms, just to name a few. X
    Bec | Mumma Tells recently posted..Friday Finds {Easter Edition}My Profile

  2. Oh hun… I really think Poss and Mr T are kindred spirits. Im having the exact problems and advances with him. From what I have seen (and read), you are a fantastic Mum and doing the best you can. It certainly isn’t easy having an Aspie child.
    I wonder all the time if I am doing everything right with all three of mine. I seem to have done an ok job with the eldest (he has decided he wants to be a chef/cook in the ADF and has an interview this week). Mr M is well advanced for his age, so I don’t have any issues with him at all in terms of learning or social aspects. I do worry that I don’t spend enough time with T, that I’m not doing enough to help him etc. I think we just need to give ourselves a break and realise we are doing the best we can. xx
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  3. Oh Renee just wanted to tell you how much this post moved me. I know exactly what you mean about watching others hurtle past and the trickiness of things being taken literally. Just wanted to say I’m here, yk?
    katesaysstuff recently posted..#OperationMOVE: Counting DownMy Profile

  4. whenever i read about Poss’ interaction with other girls her age, I am a bit scared for her, because girls (women too) or so much more into the fine nuances of communication. your example shows that too…
    I know I always preferred working with men (in logistics and transports that was easy). they play games too, but not you don’t have to be as constantly second-guessing attitudes and words said to you.
    i was a bit of a tomboy and quite straightforward as a little girl at times, I didn’t only make friends like that. But i had a few faithful girls that knew me and liked me for how I was and I am working on that with Nemo too. Our kids, more than any other, have to understand that you do not have to be friends with everyone, because simply they will not be real and accepting friends with you. I hope that Poss will feel strong enough to understand that she will probably not be part of the mainstream girl crowd but that she will always have friends, because, thankfully, the other girls are not all alike either.. all the best for Poss.. x
    nikki recently posted..L’expert – c’est moi! You know best for your child.. but you don’t know everything.My Profile

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