After much research (read – I have spoken to at least three people) I have decided there really are only two types of people in this world. Those that like other people, and those that don’t.
As a general rule, I fall into the latter category. I don’t like most people. I am a suspicious person, someone who looks for the worst in people and assumes they are almost always idiots. I don’t tolerate fools. I don’t like to be disappointed, so rather than wait for others to disappoint me, I keep my expectations low.
In fact, a friend once saw a t-shirt that read “I hate everyone” and thought of me. I guess it’s no secret.
I don’t know where this comes from, maybe I have been disappointed too many times before. Maybe people just are idiots. Maybe I am just bitter. Maybe I just have a limited amount of affection and time in my life and don’t want to give it to people who I know won’t appreciate it. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I’ve been called a pessimist before.
Some people prove me wrong. They turn out not to be psychopaths. They are smart, funny and kind. I hold those people close and I know I am better for having them in my life. They help to balance my views, proving the exceptions to my rule.
But many more have proved my theory right.
Interestingly, a lot of those that I hold dear are in the the first camp. The camp that likes other people. They assume the best, look for the good. They are glass half full people. Positive and kind.
Sometimes, I see them disappointed and let down. Sometimes they trust others and are used, for they are good and kind and those other people, the ones I am so suspicious of, feed off their kindness. Sucked dry and their generosity of spirt taken advantage of.
But maybe they also get to experience things that I would automatically dismiss. Maybe I am too harsh. Maybe I need to lighten up and give more people a chance.
But I probably won’t. It’s like a filter for me; a way to manage my time, my affection. Tough, but in my mind, fair.
I’m interested, which camp are you in?
I’m an introvert, so I guess that means I often prefer my own company to entertaining other people. I like people to a point, but need to escape to my own space to recharge.
I totally understand the need to escape…!
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Bahaha, I am in the I hate everyone until proven otherwise.
Katrina recently posted..Welcome to Hollywood. What’s your dream?
I know. You are my hero.
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
I like everyone, unless they are really, ridiculously moronic and/or mean upfront, but often am disappointed when they don’t meet my expectations or they turn out to be nice face-to-face but really mean behind my back!
Don’t lighten up! I doubt you’re missing anything!!
Thanks Kate – I figure friends like you will let me know if I am missing anything, or have overlooked someone awesome!
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Fabulous post
I am definitely in the first camp. I like everyone. In fact, mostly, I love everyone. I find people infinitely complex, sensitive and beautiful, and I want to be friends with them all. I am off the charts extroverted, and wildly optimistic. It sets me up for a big fall quite often when people disappoint, or hurt me as I am brutally sensitive. But I march on, making new friends, thinking positively, and loving everyone as I go, because I think the pain of suffering fools is worth the finding of gems. xx
Jane (@jatosha) recently posted..Dear Crying Stranger,
Oh I love your perspective Jane – you do have suffer some fools to find a gem! Thank you x
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
I am in the same camp as you. I am a watcher too – in a no creepy way. I may not be saying much, but I don’t usually miss much. I think that’s why I’m in the latter camp, I see a lot of the mean, nasty, manipulative stuff that goes on.
I only have a certain amount of time and energy, especially at the moment, and I don’ t have any to suffer fools or time wasters.
Naomi recently posted..Sometimes
I am a watcher too, a lurker. We can both be non-creepy together! It helps me to determine if someone is worth my time…
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
my bff told me the other day ‘grumpy cat is totally your spirit animal” (she is totally a hippie..).
i guess that’s quite right. i don’t enjoy it, but i get annoyed by overenthusiastic happy people with lots of friends and lots of projects. i USED to be on the social side, now i am not. experience is key, i think, and you can only fall so many times on your a$$ before deciding that it’s probably just safer to remain seating.
having a special needs kid doesn’t exactly improve the social side of parenting, but i force myself (really) to mingle. i believe truly that having a big circle of friends is overrated, but socialising makes us happier, leads to experiences we would otherwise not have (like in your last post too..) and you probably have to socialise at least a bit if you want to find that close circle of choice friends that you really trust and enjoy being with. and who take you just the way you are. grumpy people hater and all.
nikki recently posted..L’expert – c’est moi! You know best for your child.. but you don’t know everything.
This is true Nikki – it has taken me many times of falling over, or being hurt to find those people that I can be my true, Grumpy Cat self around! And funny you mention her – I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to her and her grumpy ways. Kind of makes mine feel less weird!
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
grumpy cat is pretty funny. =) it’s a good balance to all those cutie cats on the internets.. must check out your pinterest sometimes.. am not really using it that much.. (oh, and i was delighted to hear today about the german study that said that pessimists seem to actually LIVE LONGER than optimists. they are more careful, plan things etc.. Ha!)
nikki recently posted..L’expert – c’est moi! You know best for your child.. but you don’t know everything.
I try to see the best in people, but am often disappointed. I’m learning that not everyone is as nice as they make out and being around those people is draining and not good for me. I think I need to be a little more guarded and a little less heart-on-my-sleeve.
Caroline recently posted..Over Here…
Us grumpy people need people like you, we need you to balance us and make us less bitter. Don’t you go a changing x
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
YK I wouldn’t have necessarily have picked you as being in the latter camp. But I tend to think that maybe it’s the more sensible place to be.
I’m unabashedly optimistic and take everyone at face value pretty much all the time. Needless to say it bites me on the arse now and again and that really hurts a lot. But I can’t seem to help myself… Just in my nature I guess.
katesaysstuff recently posted..True Lies
Maybe I hide it well? I don’t know… there is a short period where I will give someone a go, but I can be pretty quick to make a call on whether or not I think we will click. Maybe that’s a bad thing, it probably is…
We need people like you though, it’s not a bad thing. Just different. And differences are a good thing – we can all learn from each other.
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Alfred Lord Tennyson
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
I hope one day you can find a way to be vulnerable and feel life xo
Here is an excellent TED talk you may or may not want to watch?
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
Sandra recently posted..Gay Pride or Mum Pride
Thanks Sandra. I have seen that TED talk before, thank you.
I don’t feel like I am not feeling life, in fact, my life is full of feeling, sometimes too much – hence why I blog, as it’s a way of me processing it all. However, I am simply more guarded in who I choose to share life with. I need to make sure they are ‘worthy’ so to speak, of me giving that much of myself.
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
It seems you are doing well at life and managing the ups and downs (from what I read on the blog lol) an inspiration xo
Oh I don’t know about an inspiration – but thank you x
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Oh I’m definitely a glass half full kinda person. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and think of them as a good guy – until proven otherwise. It’s worked so far for me with only a few disappointments along the way.
I believe you get what you give – and I’d like to think I give good energy – then perhaps I’ll get some back.
I love that Gabbie – and I think you are spot on. What you put out there, you tend to get back… For the good and the bad. I don’t think I attract more idiots than anyone else, but maybe my tolerance threshold is lower than most…
Thanks x
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Hmmmmmm, thoughtful finger on chin. You know, I really don’t know. You’d think by now, after all the hurts and betrayals, I’d be more generalised in my view of “God people PISS ME OFF”. But really, when it comes down to it, I am an eternal optimist. A nutter, my husband might say, because truly I should be in the nuthouse by now (I could sit beside you and go on for weeks about the wrongs that have befallen me at the hands of others).
But you know what I did? I decided to dive into study about the human psyche – about myself, really, is the short of it – and I was able to let go of a LOT of the shite that I was holding onto, the angst over why people do and say the things they do and why they tick when everyone else around them clearly tocks… I’m better for it. I have a lot more of my energy and time back. Strangely, though, I’m still a rather haughty driver. Seems it doesn’t translate well when I’m in a car. Hnngh.
For the record, I love ya. I think you are fantastic. And actually, I gravitate towards people like you. Because I know where I stand. The no-bullshitters, that’s my preferred type of People.
Kirrily recently posted..The daily grind, bereaved parent style
Thank you my love, you will always know where you stand with me. And while I hate confrontation and find it all kinds of difficult, I despise the two-faced behaviour that can go on when two people just should not be friends.
I am also a haughty driver. I like that phrase – much better than what my husband calls me…
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different
Oh dear. I have no idea where I fit or even sit… On the fence? I am like Naomi a lot – I like to watch especially when I am not expected to join in. I also know there’s a perception that I am strong & confident & sociable… Maybe it’s part of what I have had to be as a teacher & mum & carer… Bit I’m more reticent to join in quickly anywhere. I tend to take people initially at face value but have learnt over the years that not everyone is as they seem.
Now Renée I know we haven’t met but I think we’d find a few things to talk about…. I love what Kirrily wrote too…and of course Kate.
Denyse xx
Oh I think we would find much to talk about Denyse! Maybe you are an exception to my rule, maybe a lifetime of roles that require tolerance and understanding have fostered that ability to sit back and watch things unfold…. Either way, I like your approach. x
Renee recently posted..Dare to be different