I have sat on this post since Friday, not sure how to write it without sounding overly emotional. Feeling embarrassed perhaps at the depth of pain I was feeling, am feeling, over a pet. I get there are bigger problems in the world. Seems silly. But it’s part of our story. So I write.
On Friday we took Max our little bunny in to be de-sexed. It should have been a simple operation; we researched the vet to find one that regularly worked with rabbits and despite Poss’ tears and pleas for us not to, we booked him in to have it done.
I didn’t even give him a comforting good luck pat, more focussed on telling Poss it would be ok. Of course it would be. It’s a routine operation, pets have it done every day. They didn’t even run through the risks with us.
When they rang to tell me, we were in the State Library. “At some point, something went wrong and his little heart gave out” they said. I must have cried loudly as people were staring at me. ”What the fuck, I don’t understand?” I said. The people kept staring.
He was just a rabbit.
A rabbit that wormed his little velvety paws into our home, keeping Husband and I entertained at night after Poss went to bed. Affectionate but low maintenance, full of personality. Thought he was people.”Best pet ever,” we said.
Poss has been angry. Blaming me for making him have the operation. “I told you not to leave him Mama, I told you. You said it would be ok. It’s not ok. I miss my Max”.
Anger is maybe an easier emotion to manage than sadness.
We miss him too Poss, we miss him too.