I have sat on this post since Friday, not sure how to write it without sounding overly emotional. Feeling embarrassed perhaps at the depth of pain I was feeling, am feeling, over a pet. I get there are bigger problems in the world. Seems silly. But it’s part of our story. So I write.
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On Friday we took Max our little bunny in to be de-sexed. It should have been a simple operation; we researched the vet to find one that regularly worked with rabbits and despite Poss’ tears and pleas for us not to, we booked him in to have it done.
I didn’t even give him a comforting good luck pat, more focussed on telling Poss it would be ok. Of course it would be. It’s a routine operation, pets have it done every day. They didn’t even run through the risks with us.
When they rang to tell me, we were in the State Library. “At some point, something went wrong and his little heart gave out” they said. I must have cried loudly as people were staring at me. ”What the fuck, I don’t understand?” I said. The people kept staring.
He was just a rabbit.
A rabbit that wormed his little velvety paws into our home, keeping Husband and I entertained at night after Poss went to bed. Affectionate but low maintenance, full of personality. Thought he was people.”Best pet ever,” we said.
Poss has been angry. Blaming me for making him have the operation. “I told you not to leave him Mama, I told you. You said it would be ok. It’s not ok. I miss my Max”.
Anger is maybe an easier emotion to manage than sadness.
We miss him too Poss, we miss him too.
Oh Renee, I hope the pain subsides soon. Poor Max, poor Poss, poor you and Husb.
Kate Sins recently posted..day 46 | 100 Pantone postcards project
Thanks so much Kate. While the house still feels a bit empty, everyone is feeling much better about it all xx
Marita recently posted..I love the internet – Cookies for Heidi
Thanks Marita xx
Oh Renee. I am teary for you and for your gorgeous Poss. So, so, so sorry. X
Thanks for your kind wishes Cat xx
Don’t be embarrassed. Something affecting you guys this much is nothing to be embarrassed about. I can’t imagine the shock. Hope this week manages to bring a smile.
Mandy recently posted..Disney on Ice ~ School Holiday Fun
Thanks so much Mandy. I think you are right – a lot of it was the shock and we are all feeling better this week xx
I can understand your emotion, particularly as it was so unexpected. I also totally agree that kids on the spectrum have more trouble dealing with sadness than anger. I’ve seen my son struggle so many times when he is grieving over something as he can’t process that emotion. He also cannot cope with feeling more than one emotion at once – that’s a hard one to explain…
Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted..I Must Confess…My Top 5 TV Shows
Thanks Kirsty…. I know exactly what you mean about them not being able to cope with more than one emotion at once… it’s so hard for them. We have been helping Poss write things down or draw them out, which seems to help her get her head around them a bit more..
Sorry for your loss. I cry when our pets die, even the fish.
E. recently posted..Grateful 7 July 2012
Oh honey – I can totally relate. When Poss’ pet rats died I cried… and I don’t even like rats!