You’re just mean

You're just mean... tweens and testing boundaries

“You’re just mean” she screams at me, as she pushes past into her room. Throwing herself down on the bed, angry and frustrated, the words are simple but the best she can manage.

She bubbles quickly, simmering up at her perceived injustice. I had the nerve to ask her to pack her homework in her bag, a mandatory for her each day as her aide checks it, to make sure she’s on track for the week. If it’s not there, you can bet everything that I’ll get a phone call before 9am.

I really like Poss’ aide, but I really don’t like talking to her before I’ve had my first coffee for the day. It doesn’t really seem to fair to either of us. So I continue to be mean, and insist she packs it in her bag.

As quickly as it comes, it’s gone. I’m still mean, that’s a given, but the book is thrown hastily in the bag. I take it as a win, but make the mistake of saying so. Up it bubbles again; tears and this time, claims of teasing. Really, when will I learn? Pick your battles and all that jazz.

The nights are fraught with events like these. She’s happy enough in the mornings, still excited to go to school. She’s mostly great for her baby sitter, who picks her up after school and helps with the homework before we get home from work. But the second I walk in the door, it’s on. It’s like she’s waited all day to unleash her wrath in my direction.

They tell me that it’s because we make her feel safe. That it’s because she knows we love her unconditionally, that she can behave like this. A combination of testing boundaries as she grows older and letting down her guard in a safe space. That’s all well and good but seriously, it’s exhausting.

She’s still only a tween, what will happen as we move into her teen years and those hormones kick in properly? Maybe I should be grateful for being called mean and accused of teasing her. I somehow suspect it will get worse before it gets better…

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Comments

  1. Massive massive hugs.
    Christie recently posted..{homemade} Spelt & sweet potato breadMy Profile

  2. Hang in there…I need someone to pick me up and tell me it gets better … My meterorite is going through a period of violent rages that would have vikings taking notes…

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