If nothing else…

If nothing else

We’re coming into the forth year of a diagnosis. The big A word. Autism or Aspergers, depending on which specialist you ask. Although since then, the diagnosis is changing anyway and soon everyone will be just simply, on the Spectrum. Yet it’s not as simple as that change in semantics would have you believe. Of course, it never is.

It’s an understatement to say our lives changed because of those words. We started down a different path, a new road, one in which we’d never even considered before.

At times it’s a beautiful path, the highs are high, the colours bright and wins are hard won, making them ever so sweet. Conversely, the lows are low, the darks are black and the lessons are harsh.

One of the biggest lessons that the past few years has taught us is that people can pretty bloody awful. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that most people can be fuckers, given the right circumstances. I don’t think it means they’re all bad, but when you see the worst in people it’s easy to not have the energy to look beyond that.

I remember one parent once confided in me, in one of those falsetto style stage whispers, that “if I had of known she was, you know, disabled, then I would have thought twice about putting my daughter in this school”. I’d like to be able to tell you that she didn’t know I was ‘that’ parent, but she did.

I can’t remember what I said in return, but I do remember crying all the way home in the car, then vomiting as soon as I got there. The hatred and bile so rancid, I literally couldn’t stomach it.

And it’s not even the worse thing that’s been said to me. Or to Poss.

That’s the thing; difference scares people. It makes them do and say things they wouldn’t normally say and do. It’s no excuse, and it certainly doesn’t make it ok, but it helps me to understand why. It helps me to sleep at night.

So this week, as we come into Autism Awareness week, we’re putting it out there; let’s talk about being on the Spectrum without the whispers and the pointing.

Let’s speak about the positives, those amazing highs, celebrating the fabulous traits that the diagnosis brings with it. Let’s try and get rid of some of the fear, the misinformation, the unknown for those around us, help them understand and show compassion for those with differences.

And if nothing else, maybe we’ll be able to get rid of some of the fuckers.

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  1. Workingwomenaus says:

    Oh Renee I can’t imagine the horrid things you’ve had to put up with from other fuckers. Rest assured, you’re Poss’ strongest advocate & she’s thriving because of you. The fuckers can…well fuck off xx

  2. And lets call it Autism ACCEPTANCE Week, rather than awareness. Acceptance is the action that will make change for our kids and mean that you don’t have to be on the receiving end of foul comments like the one you mentioned. Awareness doesn’t challenge the status quo, nor does it require anyone to think too hard about anything much at all.

  3. I wonder what these “fuckers” say to their own kids behind closed doors, if they are so openly ignorant in public. In our household, we celebrate diversity and in fact encourage our children to be different, that it’s our differences that make us special and who we are. I cannot even begin to comprehend the challenges you face – what I do know is how I choose to treat parents like yourself facing these challenges, with understanding and compassion, not judgement.

  4. Seriously?! What school would said “fucker” then like her child to go to? Because every school, and almost every class nowadays has a child or children with disabilities!!! My classroom is at least 25% ‘disabled’ children.

  5. Martine@themodernparent says:

    Definitely need to focus on all the wonderful things…..the best way to teach the ignoramuses!

  6. I think that is a great mission for autism parents, get rid of all the idiots.

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